“The Zombissager” by Colleen Chin from Queer Fish: An Eclectic Anthology of Gay Fiction (Volume One), Pink Narcissus Press (2011). Edited by Margarita Bezdomnya and Rose Mambert.
I’ve never been much interested in zombie stories, save for a brief stint watching The Walking Dead (before they killed off one too many main characters and I let my boots do the walking, away from the television). The problem is, there’s nothing appealing about zombies, the way there is about vampires, or stories about evil scientists, or other forms of intelligent life making contact with humanity and trying to take over Earth. Zombies have no redeeming qualities. What’s worse, they’re too close to reality for me. Like illness, aging, and death, they’re an approaching, unstoppable sadness. I don’t want more of that sort of thing, for pete’s sake, I want less.
Not that this story is too deeply concerned with reality, mind you. This is a humorous, dare I say zany story about comic book-style superheroes and villains (Awesomeman, Coolman and Sir Zombalot). It’s goofy and over the top to the point that I was rolling my eyes and chuckling at the absurdity of it. I’d summarize the plot, but you’d never, ever believe me.